Depression is hard work. We either sink into the abyss of what feels comfortable every day i.e. cling to the lounge chair and Netflix binge or don’t get out of bed, isolate ourselves from the world, don’t talk, withdraw from things we love OR we begin rebuilding our day to day life, again.
I found that one key aspect of Depression is the lack of nourishment we’ve given to our soul and spirit. With Depression, we end up all up in our head as something has triggered our brain back into trauma mode, survival mode. Even though I’m working hard at recognising when I get triggered, when life gets busy I can miss the trigger, and fall down into depression without even realising. Next thing you know weeks have passed and I find myself not functioning in healthy patterns.
The one thing I know for sure is that the triggers are real in my brain. For whatever reason, my brain thinks I’m unsafe, and it will want me to withdraw to a space where it believes I’m safe. The trouble is, if like me, you miss the trigger, then it takes a few weeks before realising the downhill path had begun, again.
I say again because I’ve no doubt this is also not your first trip down the Depression Highway. A sense of humour is a must! So, what do we do?
The very first step is to be able to identify that you’ve returned to shallow breathing. How do we know this? If you begin reading Psalm 139 out loud or even just reading it, your mind may go all over the place, not be able to concentrate and so on! I’ve just come through a few weeks of high pressure and stress, and as I set out to read this, my brain would not focus. However, I know that if I persist over the next few days, recovery and getting back into a healthy routine will become easier and quicker. Why? This isn’t my first trip to get off the Depression Highway!
For you, see how you go just reading the Psalm, then see how you go reading it out loud. The aim is to be able to read it out loud, breathing slowly in and out, and feeling the passion of the words. This won’t happen overnight, but with each reading, it will happen. Thereby restoring nourishment to your soul and your spirit!
You Know All About Me
Psalm 139 For the Pure and Shining One King David’s poetic song
Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.
You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book and you know all the words I’m about to speak before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.
With your hand of love upon my life,
you impart a blessing to me.
This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!
Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.
Where could I go from your Spirit?
Where could I run and hide from your face?
If I go up to heaven, you’re there!
If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!
If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, you’re there!
If I fly into the radiant sunset, you’re there waiting!
Wherever I go, your hand will guide me; your strength will empower me.
It’s impossible to disappear from you or to ask the darkness to hide me,
for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.
There is no such thing as darkness with you.
The night, to you, is as bright as the day; there’s no difference between the two.
You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside,
and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!
Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.
It simply amazes me to think about it!
How thoroughly you know me, Lord!
You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place,
carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.
You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days you planned for me already recorded in your book.
Every single moment you are thinking of me!
How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!
O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore!
When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.
O God, come and slay these bloodthirsty, murderous men!
For I cry out, “Depart from me, you wicked ones!”
See how they blaspheme your sacred name and lift up themselves against you,
but all in vain!
Lord, can’t you see how I despise those who despise you?
For I grieve when I see them rise up against you. in
I have nothing but complete hatred and disgust for them.
Your enemies shall be my enemies!
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden in me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways— the path that brings me back to you.
May your journey out of this time of Depression rest solely in His strength and wisdom, His encouragement and peace that surpasses all understanding, and may you FEEL His love course through your soul, your spirit, and set you free into the footsteps He alone has prepared for you.